I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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