oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
