lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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