When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
