So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
