i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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