We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
