i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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