And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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