omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
