Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
