porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
