is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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