That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
