i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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