Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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