The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
