I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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