I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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