his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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