just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
