Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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