I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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