Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
