Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
