And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
