I think I died a long time ago.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
