i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
