Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
