I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do vagina's smell?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
third nipple confirmed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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