Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
