i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
