your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
