oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
