you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
