God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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