well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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