He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
