I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
