Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Four minutes until I can fart!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
