That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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