We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
