So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
