I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
