And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i used baking grease as lip gloss
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
