...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Houston, we have a squirter
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
