The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
