Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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