I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
