mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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