ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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