Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
