do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
