you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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